Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Barack Obama.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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