What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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banana

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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