Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Knock knock, Come in...

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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