Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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I can't see my forehead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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