An Englishman, Irishman, and Jew walk into a bar. Steven Spielberg is a Jew.

What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

one day i went to bed

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

Worst joke ever

Q: What do you call a Deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q; What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? A: Still no ideer.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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