Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Sac

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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What’s black and white and red all over? A zebra in a meat grinder

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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