When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops