Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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- What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? - The refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops