"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

What swims in the ocean? Fish

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

Justin Bieber is a good singer.

Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

A seal walks into a club.

why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

A women president

Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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