Justin Bieber got laid

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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melon

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, please go to China, and never come back!

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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