Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Why did the teacher yell at her students? The class was acting completely inappropriate and she felt it was necessary to discipline them so the current situation won’t repeat its self.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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Men's Sports

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What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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We are lawyers

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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