Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Women Driving.

What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

porn-hub

Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

redtube

my name is Jacob sartorious

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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