A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

shammmm is a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I ponder

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nicolas Cage

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops