What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

An Irishman walks out of a bar

Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

Roses are red Violets are blue i cant ryme or spell.

Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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