What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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A man goes to see his doctor and says "Doctor, I have a pain in my leg." The doctor replies "That's the least of your worries, I ran your blood test and you have AIDS."

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Why was the ginger walking around in bare feet? He had no sole.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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