What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does Harry Potter love? Magic

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

rebecca is a hard worker

thumb_up thumb_down -28

So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the nerd say to the bully? Nothing. The bully killed him before he could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops