What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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A:why did sam fall of the wing ? B:why ? A:she had no arms. B:... A:knock knock. B: who is there ? A:not sam

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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In soviet Russia - some people were poor.

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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