How many dead babies can you fit in a drawer? 10 25* *if you use a blender

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? there is one alive at the bottom. what is worse than that? it eats its way out.

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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