I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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