I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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If file gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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