Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +171

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops