In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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