brainfart

What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

i like turtals and kids

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

Penis.

Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

Why did the samurai commit Sepuku? Because it is an honorable Japanese tradition.

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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