redtube

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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do not read this(this is intended to be read)

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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