What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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