I died shortly after writing this.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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