Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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why was the 40 year old still a virgin? it doesnt know either.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Why did the jew die Really...

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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Why did the chicken cross the road? why? Womens rights

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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