Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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black guy graduating high school

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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