What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Kelly Clarkson

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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68

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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a lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for directions. the Bartender takes him into a room and rapes-him

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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