Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Murder me once, shame on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops