"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Hello

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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