Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What is White over Black? Society.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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