A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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