An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

thumb_up thumb_down +29

so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Who is a knob? ross d

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops