Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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What is white, sticky and tastes great? Milk

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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Land Rovers

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TOBUSCUS

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what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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modern love

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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I had a dream, then i died in it and now i'm dead but who cares, how are you ?

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops