ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

A man walks into a pole.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

2 women were sitting quietly.

Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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