Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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Q : whats the most annoying thing on the earth with a big fore head ? A : Paige

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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Why couldn't the black man get a high-paying job? because he lived during the harsh and cruel times of slavery.

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

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poo is yummy

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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