Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Death is inevitable.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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h

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Woman's rights

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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modern love

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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