A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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whats funnier than hugos penis? Nothing!!!!

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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