How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +2

We are lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

IU football

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops