Roses are red, violets are blue, your so ugly, im going to kill you! Just kidding.......... Violets are purple. -Harrison

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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