Knock Knock Who's there? ... No one, you have Schizophrenia

Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

Snausages.

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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