- Anti Joke

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

What is the difference between your mom and a cow? One is a 1,500 pound beast, and one is a human being.

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

Lynching Lynching is an extrajudicial execution carried out by a mob, often by hanging, but also by burning at the stake or shooting, in order to punish an alleged transgressor, or to intimidate, control, or otherwise manipulate a population of people. It is related to other means of social control that arise in communities, such as charivari, riding the rail, and tarring and feathering. Lynchings have been more frequent in times of social and economic tension, and have often been the means used by the politically dominant population to oppress social challengers. Violence in the United States against African Americans, especially in the South, rose in the aftermath of the Civil War, after slavery had been abolished and recently freed black men were given the right to vote. Violence rose even more at the end of the century, after southern white Democrats regained their political power in the South in the 1870s. States passed new constitutions or legislation which effectively disfranchised most blacks and many poor whites, established segregation of public facilities by race, and separated blacks from common public life and facilities. Nearly 3,500 African Americans were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968, mostly from 1882 to 1920. Lynching during the 19th century in the United States, Britain and colonies, coincided with a period of violence which denied people participation in white-dominated society on the basis of race or gender after the Emancipation Act of 1833. Today lynching is a felony in all states of the United States, defined by some codes of law as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person which results in the death of the person," with a 'mob' being defined as "the assemblage of two or more persons, without color or authority of law, for the premeditated purpose and with the premeditated intent of committing an act of violence upon the person of another." Lynching in the second degree is defined as "Any act of violence inflicted by a mob upon the body of another person and from which death does not result." To sustain a conviction for lynching, at least some evidence of premeditation must be produced, but "The common intent to do violence" may be formed before or during the assemblage."

What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

raping black women

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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