why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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Why is a Wesley a black man ? He licks tuna

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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There's a black guy and a white guy standing in a bar, surprisingly the black guy doesn't die. This isn't a racist joke.

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Guess what.. chicken butt

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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person 1:Dude, look at the news person 2:Yea man, its D ick Cheney person 1: what a d ick head

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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why were Tamika and Tyron afraid to get into the water? They weren't

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well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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School

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all muslims get the fuck out of britain you fucks

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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