If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue. Cassidy's a whore so open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops