A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous and could cause much harm if handled without prior knowledge of how to use them.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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black guy graduating high school

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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