You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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What's black and blue and red all over? I don't know, that's why I was asking you.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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hey bill!

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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i like turtals and kids

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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