I pooped my pants

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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hi

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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What's black and makes me food? A microwave.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... they sit down, have a deep and meaningful conversation about theism, and don't really drink anything.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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4

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops