A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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where wally? wallys a myth.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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What worse than the holocaust? Dries Roelvink!

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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