What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

What is long and black The unemployment line

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

how do you kill a blonde? hit her in the back repeatedly with a crowbar

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

why did the puppy poop? he had too

Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

I pooped my pants

Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

"jrfevkhbgjk" said the retard.

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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