what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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what do you call a man in a hole Fill

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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