Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

thumb_up thumb_down +146

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Yo mama so stupid she tried to drown a dog and was quite successful at it. Know she serves a death sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops