What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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Poop

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops