What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Hello penis

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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agp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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